This inability to hear you is not her fault and generally
has to do with what is happening to her and her body on a biochemical level.
Often facing an abortion, woman finds herself under much pressure and
stress. This causes her adrenaline levels to rise and counteracts the
effects of oxytocin a hormone that is on the rise during pregnancy and is at
it's peak during the labor and delivery. This hormone is also responsible
for putting us in a "caring" state of mind, and if you want to talk "babies"
to your friend or a family member, when she is in a "caring" state of mind
would be the most appropriate time to do so.
In order to help her, you should be willing to do all that
you possibly can to eliminate the stress and an pressures she is under. Being
argumentative will only add to pressure and stress. Sometimes we may think that
if we present our argument in a loving manner, she some how will be able to hear
us. But the truth is that we are taking a big chance perusing this road.
So what can you do? Some times it is not so easy to eliminate
stress and pressure from a particular situation, but there are simple ways that
may help you to do just that. If you can afford, take your friend on a "girls
day out" to a spa saloon. Good message and pampering will help to lover the
adrenaline levels and may contribute to putting your friends mind into a
"caring" state. Do not force the abortion topic or a "baby talk" on her
unnecessarily, if she brings up the topic do not shy from it, but also do not
force her into taking about it if she is not willing.
Another step you can consider is to take her out (physically)
of the stressful situation. If you can offer her a place to stay where she can
find herself in a more relaxing atmosphere, this also may help.
Last but not least, ask her about her diet. When under
stress, we completely abandon good diet habits and stick to a junk food. This
can contribute to sudden fluctuation of sugar level in our blood, and also takes
us on a ride when from be highly energized we suddenly may become tired and
depressed. Consider to offer your friend a had when it comes to her diet. She
may not be feeling like cooking herself and sometime even reheating an already
prepared meal can seam to her like an impossible task. It would be a good idea
to provide her with snacks that would be readily available and would not require
much time to prepare. Things like cold cuts or already made sandwich could be
the best. Make sure that she receives plenty of protein and even some fat with
her food. This will help her to level the sugar level in her blood and diminish
times when she feels depressed and out of energy.
While on either side of abortion issue we can make arguments,
no amount of "you are making the right choice" will help a woman to feel better
about her decision. Respectfully no amount of "it's your baby" will help a woman
to change her decision. Only tender loving care can provide her with a choice
free of any kind of pressure.
